A Profound Act of Mercy

My friends and I have been talking a lot this Lenten season about this Year of Mercy, thanks to the 2016 Faces of Mercy Catholic Conference 4 Moms. We began by understanding that mercy is twofold. It is both forgiveness and relieving the misery of others.

Tonight in Catholic churches all around the world, priests will wash others' feet during Mass. It seems an odd thing to do, to wash someone's feet. It's very intimate and kind of stinky. Yet, this is exactly what Jesus did at the Last Supper. The Gospel of John describes it:

1	Now before the feast of the Passover, when Jesus knew that his hour had come to depart out of this world to the Father, having loved his own who were in the world, he loved them to the end.
2	And during supper, when the devil had already put it into the heart of Judas Iscariot, Simon's son, to betray him,
3	Jesus, knowing that the Father had given all things into his hands, and that he had come from God and was going to God,
4	rose from supper, laid aside his garments, and girded himself with a towel.
5	Then he poured water into a basin, and began to wash the disciples' feet, and to wipe them with the towel with which he was girded.
6	He came to Simon Peter; and Peter said to him, "Lord, do you wash my feet?"
7	Jesus answered him, "What I am doing you do not know now, but afterward you will understand."
8	Peter said to him, "You shall never wash my feet." Jesus answered him, "If I do not wash you, you have no part in me."
9	Simon Peter said to him, "Lord, not my feet only but also my hands and my head!"
10	Jesus said to him, "He who has bathed does not need to wash, except for his feet, but he is clean all over; and you are clean, but not every one of you."
11	For he knew who was to betray him; that was why he said, "You are not all clean."
12	When he had washed their feet, and taken his garments, and resumed his place, he said to them, "Do you know what I have done to you?
13	You call me Teacher and Lord; and you are right, for so I am.
14	If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another's feet.
15	For I have given you an example, that you also should do as I have done to you.

I have been pondering how Jesus' act of washing the feet of his disciples was an act of mercy. They wore sandals, all the time, in the hot, dry desert. History tells us their feet were caked in sweat and dirt, and they walked many miles in a single day. So I imagine that washing their feet in cool, clean water was a relief from the sticky, smelly, achy feeling of unclean feet. Jesus relieved their misery when he washed their feet.

And He insisted upon it. Jesus did not allow Peter to excuse himself from receiving this mercy and still be in His good favor. It was through this act of relieving their misery that He taught them about humility. He needed the disciples to see that true Christians extend mercy to others, even when it's dirty and stinky and requires us to stoop below our position.

To me, that sounds a lot like motherhood. We do dirty, stinky work. We change diapers and wipe noses. We listen to the anger pour out of our teenagers. But that work relieves the misery of our children. Mothers humble themselves to do the menial tasks of daily life to keep our children healthy in mind, body, and soul.

When I go to Mass this evening and observe the merciful act of feet washing, I will try to reflect on how I extend mercy to others, in my family and in my community, by doing the dirty work and bowing down. And I will pray that we will all, like Peter, openly accept the way God's mercy comes to us in our hearts and through the acts of others.

Judas' and Our Betrayals

Lent is coming to a close, and we now enter into the most sacred days of the Church year! Most of us cannot stop our daily lives and focus entirely on the great Triduum celebrations. The laundry, diapers, cooking, and cleaning does not simply pause for the next several days.

But that is the beauty of praying as we work, and I have found that turning my thoughts repeatedly back to the last events in the life of Christ help me to still my heart. When I center my mind on the most beautiful sacrifice of the Holy Cross and the Glorious Resurrection, the daily events of bombings in Brussels abroad and preparations for deployment and moving at home are put into perspective.

With me, consider seeing yourself in today's Gospel from Matthew chapter 26:

14	Then one of the twelve, who was called Judas Iscariot, went to the chief priests
15	and said, "What will you give me if I deliver him to you?" And they paid him thirty pieces of silver.
16	And from that moment he sought an opportunity to betray him.
17	Now on the first day of Unleavened Bread the disciples came to Jesus, saying, "Where will you have us prepare for you to eat the passover?"
18	He said, "Go into the city to a certain one, and say to him, `The Teacher says, My time is at hand; I will keep the passover at your house with my disciples.'"
19	And the disciples did as Jesus had directed them, and they prepared the passover.
20	When it was evening, he sat at table with the twelve disciples;
21	and as they were eating, he said, "Truly, I say to you, one of you will betray me."
22	And they were very sorrowful, and began to say to him one after another, "Is it I, Lord?"
23	He answered, "He who has dipped his hand in the dish with me, will betray me.
24	The Son of man goes as it is written of him, but woe to that man by whom the Son of man is betrayed! It would have been better for that man if he had not been born."
25	Judas, who betrayed him, said, "Is it I, Master?" He said to him, "You have said so."

When do we betray Christ? I betray Him when I don't look at my children as precious gifts but as irritating inconveniences. When I choose losing myself in Facebook and Amazon Prime videos instead of turning to Him in prayer. When I neglect to trust in His will and try to control too much, clutching the illusion of to-do lists and schedules. We don't necessarily seek to betray Him, but each of us has the sin of Judas on our hearts when we trade the challenge of His love (the cross) for the easier, earthly way.

Jesus provides for us, just as He provided a place for the disciples to celebrate passover. And yet. Our trust in Him is so fragile, so fleeting. Some worry how all the bills will get paid this month. Some wonder if the timing is right for a new job or a new baby. Rather than accept what the Lord puts in our path, in anxiety we doubt and question. We lack faith.

Then, even knowing the betrayal that Judas has chosen, the Lord accepts the fulfillment of the prophecies. He is sorrowful for Judas! He loves Him, loves us, so much that he is sad when we even think of betraying Him or refuse to believe in His providence. The love of the cross is for everyone, and when that love is rejected, Christ is sorrowful.

Today I will not be perfect. I will betray Jesus and I will doubt God. But I will keep turning back to Him, and I will accept His perfect love. Join me?

Lord, Have Mercy on Me, a Sinner

"The great mercy of God will now descend upon us for 40 days so that we can become that great mercy to others." Fr. David Konderla, St. Mary's Catholic Center, Texas A&M University

This quote has been haunting me. This Jubilee Year of Mercy is a call to learn more about mercy and to show mercy to others. Yet, how can we give what we do not have?

And as mothers, how hard it can be to accept mercy for ourselves, much less give it to our husbands and children! So much depends on us. We are told, "The attitude I adopt every day has the potential to affect the whole demeanor of my home." (sallyclarkson.com) Then there is the food, the clothing, the instruction that is mostly left up to mom. We have more opportunities than most to feed the hungry (like feeding a tween boy every hour of the waking day) and clothe the naked (like wrestling a screaming toddler), but we don't often see these things as acts of mercy. They're just our job!

I propose that we can't acknowledge these opportunities for mercy, because we don't understand mercy. And to understand mercy, we need to accept it and let it into our souls, allow it to seep into our hearts and penetrate our attitude. Only an attitude of mercy will open our eyes to the actuality of mercy that surrounds us. We have to let God love us with His mercy, so we can shower mercy upon others!

To dig more deeply into mercy this Lent, sign up for the Faces of Mercy Catholic Conference 4 Moms here! This online conference gives you unlimited access to over 20 quality presentations for the Lenten season, including a LIVE presentation this Saturday, February 20 by one of my favorite Catholic homeschooling moms, Jennifer Fulwiler! I've decided to highlight this excellent resource on the blog this week, because it fits in so well with our breakfast conversation from last month and is such a flexible, affordable, inspiring conference for moms! And you can get $4.00 off by entering my affiliate coupon code "mother" (any affiliate funds I earn will be used to offset the cost of our breakfast group's conference access, thanks)

What other acts of mercy do moms do on a daily basis that we often don't identify as works of mercy?

Five Ways to Survive (Actually to Thrive) This Lent!

I really had hoped to have this post up last week. Does anyone else feel like Lent is racing toward us like a freight train, giving one very little time to prayerfully prepare? Well, maybe that's a good thing that will keep me humble. If I don't have a carefully thought out plan for Lent, God can't laugh at me when the plans don't go my way, right?

I want to share five ways you can have the best Lent ever! While most of these are resources to purchase, I chose to highlight them, because they can take us all the way through Lent. I don't know about you, but somewhere around the third week, I often begin to neglect the spirit of Lent, even if I miraculously stick to my Lenten prayers and sacrifices. I need something to keep me on track all the way to Easter, and I hope one of these tips/resources will help you do just that!

1. Get an Accountability Partner! I had this idea last weekend, as I was debating my Lenten sacrifice. Find a friend who understands you and can be positive and encouraging. Share your Lenten commitments with each other and text or email daily to share successes and challenges. Help each other not to give up, especially when you fall on your face! A friend and I did this once when we both admitted having a tough time getting out of bed in the morning and starting our days with prayer. A quick "good morning" text made it so much easier to get out from under the covers! Having another woman to both keep me accountable and push me to persevere this Lent might just make these 40 days more meaningful than ever before.

2. Join the Waiting in His Word Scripture Study! This lectio divina study is an ebook ($11) designed especially for mothers of young children by a team of women, which includes a dear friend of mine. I used their Advent study and found it was a simple addition to my daily routine. Each week of Lent provides reflections written by fellow Catholic moms in the trenches and five related Bible verses with which to pray. Pope Francis said he wants us to grow closer to the Lord by "listening to God’s word and by practising the works of mercy" this Lent, so this is a great way to follow his wisdom!

3. Immerse yourself in Elizabeth Foss's Restore Workshop! (affiliate link) If you are a Christian mother feeling depleted, this study is for you. I have enjoyed participating in this online workshop for the past two years. The meaty essays and daily prayer prompts in the bargain bundle ($15) provide both a spiritual balm for a wary mama's soul and practical suggestions for finding joy in our daily lives and avoiding burnout. Plus, there are podcasts, printables, and more if you purchase the full bundle ($49). In fact, if you feel worn down by motherhood, doing this workshop is an act of mercy for yourself! Read more here, and please consider purchasing at my affiliate link above.

4. Grow with the Catholic Conference 4 Moms: Faces of Mercy! This is another online resource that I'm excited to join for the second year. Starting February 20 through Easter, you can view over 20 online presentations ($14.99-$4 with coupon code "mother") by such well-known speakers as Kimberly Hahn, Fr. Frank Pavone, Gary Zimak, and Simcha Fisher whenever you want. The flexibility of the online conference concept and the quality of the topics combine to make a perfect plan to meditate on mercy during this Jubilee year! In fact, our mom's group has signed up for the group conference, so we can use the presentations at our meetings over the next several months! Read more here, and please consider purchasing at my affiliate link above.

5. Just breathe. Remember that it's not about choosing the most challenging sacrifice or prayer plan. The Lord is waiting for you and simply wants you to turn to him. Even simple sacrifices offered with a heart for Christ can radically change you. All God asks is faith.

What are your ideas for a way to keep the spirit of Lent for all 40 days?

My Lenten Moments

As mothers, there are these moments we give to God, often without realizing it. Whenever we go against what our selfish desires beg for and do what is most important in that moment, our sacrifice is for Jesus. It's better, of course, if we are conscious of the gift in the moment, but I believe even if we are not thinking of it, the Lord is pleased.

This Lent, my goal has been to spend two thirty-minute chunks of time sitting in a designated chair for prayer. I've managed to do this about 50% of the time, so far, and it has been wonderful. My natural inclination, of course, is to berate myself for the 50% of the time I fail to meet my goal, but I am trying to be gentle with myself and grateful for the time I do get with God.

Now, you might be thinking about how impossible this would be for you. You have small children. You have too much to do. You can't sit still. You dread the thought of waking up early. You don't want to give up your "free" from children time. Me too. Me too. Me too. Me too. Me too.

The wonder of this practice is that I am consciously deciding by the physical act of putting myself in the chair that this time is for God. I get interrupted. The 12 year old and 9 year old know to try to leave me alone as best as possible, but the 4 year old and 2 year old do not. But, knowing I am deciding to be in the presence of God, I respond to them with love, more often than not.

While I have been counseled by countless priests to stop thinking of prayer as something to check off of my to-do list, the reality is that I have to have a plan or it doesn't happen. Fortunately, such wise counsel reminds me that while prayer is something I have "to do," by setting the time limit, I let go of the litany of prayers I think I should accomplish: pray divine office or Scripture, write in my Lenten Journal, read Fr. Barron's daily reflection, do my spiritual reading, etc... and I sit. Sometimes I write, read, and pray quietly. More often than not, I write a few words in a journal, respond to 20 questions, pray a quick aspiration, read a book about fire trucks, read a Quiet Time post from the Restore Workshop, redirect sibling battles, and close my eyes to rest in the Lord. It works, somehow.

Sitting still is the hardest part. And I do get up to tend to little ones, but I sit back down. I force myself into that chair and remind myself that my goal is not thirty uninterrupted minutes but thirty minutes given to God, whatever I do during that time. It has been blessed.

At first, I didn't wake up early. I am not a morning person. But now, after enjoying some snippets of time with God, I find myself more motivated to get up early to hope my thirty minutes can be uninterrupted and more peaceful. Of course, like this morning, as soon as I pour a cup of tea, often my little ones wake up, no matter how early I get up!

And, I am trying to put the littles down for their naps and going straight to my chair, but it's much easier for me to sit first thing in the morning. The second thirty minutes is a much bigger sacrifice, because once I'm moving, it's really hard for me to slow down and choose sitting over doing. When I do, as we all know, the rest of the day usually goes more smoothly.

What Lenten practice has been the most helpful to you, so far, this season?

His Delight

I simply adore the Marie Bellet song, "It Was His Delight." My daughter and I love to belt it out when it plays, and at random other times, too! The message of the song is that Christ delights in us with the refrain "It was His delight to walk among men." How often do we think of this?

Yesterday, I was privileged to hear an inspiring homily on the Gospel of John 2: 13-25 where Jesus drives the moneychangers and merchants out of the temple declaring:

 "Take these out of here, and stop making my Father's house a marketplace."
His disciples recalled the words of Scripture, Zeal for your house will consume me.

Our priest keyed in on two parts of these lines. First, Jesus calls the temple "my Father's house," a very intimate description for a building. Also, the zeal Jesus demonstrates in protecting the house is consuming. I hope you can follow me, because I certainly cannot explain this as eloquently as Father did.

We are told elsewhere in Scripture (1 Cor. 6:19) that our bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, thus houses of God. When we eat His body and drink His blood, He comes to dwell in us. And, Jesus is consumed with protecting us when we embrace Him within. Yes, He delights in coming to us in the Eucharist and will never fail to defend our honor when we accept this gift.

I am humbled reflecting on this Truth. Father mentioned that God does not turn up his nose at the filth in our souls. He does not reluctantly take up residence when we invite Him. He delights in our invitation and our acceptance whenever and however we choose to welcome Him.

My Lent has been full of ups and downs here, mostly small things but things that nevertheless can chip away at my focus in this holy season. I have been consciously striving to remember Christ is among us. To realize that truly He resides within us and is overjoyed when we acknowledge Him despite our inadequacies, knocks my socks off!

Not only was it Christ's delight to walk among men on this Earth, but also it is His delight to daily enter the temples that are our bodies and defend our quest for holiness with zeal. Amidst so many distractions and temptations, it is so motivating for me to imagine Christ's delight every time I recall His presence.

I pray, dear friends, that your Lenten journey is continuing with perseverance and that you, too, may find joy in such remarkable love!

Blessings,

Keeping Track of Sacrifices

Lent begins tomorrow. Are you ready? In some ways I feel Lent is overdue this year. I started some practical resolutions last week to get my days in order, knowing I could not begin to make spiritual progress without such simple rules. Last week, I strived to:

• wake up at 6AM every morning, shower and pray by 7AM whether the baby is asleep or not
• begin school at 9AM on school days
• give my children only one warning before a consequence (stop nagging)
• pray the Angelus before lunch daily
• take my children outside at least 30 minutes each day
• get out my old chore lists and check them off

The week was quite successful, even though John Bosco had the flu. I did not do all these things every day, but I did do most things pretty closely every day and at the end of the week, I was pleased with my progress. This week, I wanted to add a few more things before settling in to prayer, fasting, and almsgiving. So I came up with this list to add to the above items:

• write a meal plan for all 3 meals for the week and mostly stick to it
• use fewer words to communicate more clearly, especially with my children
• engage my children in preparing for and beginning Lenten practices
• spend 30 minutes a day writing

As of now, this week is about the same as last week, insofar as keeping these resolutions goes. I share these details to tell you the two things that have motivated my success. Perhaps they will aid your success in keeping your Lenten resolutions. Perhaps you don't need them during Lent but can file away these ideas on personal  growth for another time.

1. I found a friend with the same vocation and a similar family situation. We both are Catholic homeschoolers whose husbands are rarely home during the week and whose children are not yet old enough to do a lot of work independently. We decided to be accountability partners. Each Sunday we email the other our list of goals for the week. We also text each other every morning upon waking (since we both chose the same wake up time) to ensure the other is up. Finally, on Fridays, we touch base to see how the week went.

This has been very helpful! It is a relief to know there is someone else out there struggling with self-discipline like I am. One benefit of homeschooling is that you make all the decisions and are entirely in charge - no school bell to beat, any teaching philosophy you choose. But, one challenge of homeschooling is that you make all the decisions and are entirely in charge - sleep in late, no paycheck to earn for a job well done. Plus, just the discipline of writing these things down and having to evaluate myself has been motivating.

Thanks, Friend!

2. Inspired by The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin, I have created a chart to check off my goals daily. (more thoughts on the book later) My chart for Lent can be printed from my Scribd account here if you want a copy. Across the top, I simply wrote each goal, and I check them off each day I am successful. I have used a handwritten chart for the past two weeks, but I look forward to using the simple typed chart for the 40 days of Lent.

Having a chart like this has required me to be honest with whether or not I am fulfilling the basic responsibilities of my days and my weekly goals. I have tied some things to simple rewards, such as unless I do x, I cannot get on the computer. But, mostly, the chart merely brings to mind daily (several times a day, actually) my goals and has helped me to stay focused and motivated.

Thanks, Gretchen!

These two simple things have unstuck me from my deer in headlights indecisiveness about what to do each day or what personal changes to make first. I have a long way to go on my path to holiness, but these little helps might just make it a little easier for me to get a little closer a little sooner.

May this Lent be life-giving to you!

Monday Moments for Moms - Focus on Him

It is Holy Week. What a gift the Church gives us in designating this week to reflect on the Passion of the Lord! Regardless of how faithfully or unfaithfully we have kept our Lenten observances, we have this sacred week to more intently focus our gaze on Jesus.

I was blessed to attend a very enjoyable, relaxed homeschool convention this past Saturday, and the keynote speaker gave wise advice on maximizing your family's potential. It was simply to keep your focal point on God at all times. This week is the perfect opportunity to ensure we are looking to Him for everything.

She used the metaphor of a dancer doing turns who selects a point to spot while spinning across the floor. The goal of a dance turn is to keep your eyes on that one spot as long as possible until you must turn your head and then snap your head back around to focus on it again as fast as you can. This keeps the dancer from becoming dizzy, losing his/her balance, and possibly falling.

It is the same in our families. Despite the distractions of daily life, we must constantly remind ourselves to turn back to Him. When we feel frazzled or dizzy, we must turn back to God. He will help us keep our balance in our busy lives, so we do not fall as often.

Holy Week is a beautiful time to eliminate distractions and keep our focus on God. Hopefully, we all have a way to simplify our daily lives and focus more regularly on Him. This might include more frequent stops in your day for prayer and/or finding easy activities to remember daily what this week means.

One of my favorite readings for this week is in Max Lucado's book, And the Angels Were Silent: Walking with Christ Toward the Cross. Chapter 21 is called "He Chose You...," and it brings me to tears every Holy Week. You can read the whole chapter here on Google Books!

Below, I leave you with a reminder of Who we should see everywhere we look this week, in our children, in our husbands, in strangers, in friends...and the only homeschool lesson we need to teach our children this Holiest Week. Watch the Lamb.

Avoiding God

If our condition were truly happy, we would not seek diversion from it in order to make ourselves happy . ~ Blaise Pascal

As I wrote earlier, I have longed to find something to share with you about this holy season of Lent and where I feel the Lord is leading me. Up until yesterday, however, I did not feel the Lord leading. I was clearly distracted by other things: a trip, my children's Lenten traditions, our Little Flowers meeting, ideas from an inspiring book, etc... Regretfully, I had not taken the time to clearly reflect on my own needs for Lent.

In fact, every time I thought about what personal improvements I wanted to focus on during Lent, I was overwhelmed by the choices, by the sheer volume of change I would like to see in myself. Reading this post and the following excerpt from The Easter Book by Father Weiser quoted in the section on Lent in my copy of Around the Year with the Trapp Family:

Public sinners approached their priests shortly before Lent to accuse themselves of their misdeeds and were presented by the priests on Ash Wednesday to the bishop of the place. Outside the cathedral, poor and noble alike stood barefoot, dressed in sackcloth, heads bowed in humble contrition. The bishop, assisted by his canons, assigned to each one particular acts of penance according to the nature and gravity of his crime. Whereupon they entered the church, the bishop leading one of them by the hand, the others following in single file, holding each other's hands. Before the altar, not only the penitents, but also the bishop and all his clergy recited the seven penitential psalms. [Psalms 6, 31, 37, 50, 101, 129, 142.] Then, as each sinner approached, the bishop imposed his hands on him, sprinkled him with holy water, threw the blessed ashes on his head, and invested him with the hair shirt. Finally he admonished ("with tears and sighs" as the regulation suggests): "Behold you are cast out from the sight of holy mother Church because of your sins and crimes, as Adam the first man was cast out of Paradise because of his transgression." After this ceremony the penitents were led out of the church and forbidden to re-enter until Holy Thursday (for the solemn rite of their reconciliation). Meanwhile they would spend Lent apart from their families in a monastery or some other place of voluntary confinement, where they occupied themselves with prayer, manual labor, and works of charity. Among other things they had to go barefoot all through Lent, were forbidden to converse with others, were made to sleep on the ground or on a bedding of straw, and were unable to bathe or cut their hair."Such was the public penance (in addition to the general Lenten fast) for "ordinary" cases of great sin and scandal....For especially shocking and heinous crimes a much longer term was imposed.

And so, these thoughts were on my mind in Mass yesterday when our associate pastor mentioned Blaise Pascal's writings on diversion or distraction. He made a very brief comment about how Pascal wrote that we fill our minds with diversions to avoid focusing on what is truly important...God. Thus began my rabbit trail.

I came home and Googled "Pascal distraction diversion." Interestingly, out of the first four results, two were different writings about iPods. Since I do not have one of those yet (my husband calls them Personal Isolation Devices but I'm planning for speakers), I kept clicking. I found a great deal of profound statements by this wise Roman Catholic philosopher (of course, he was influenced by Jansenism, so be careful as you read him) which I have saved to ponder more fully in the coming days (and of course, share with you how the Lord touches my heart through them).

The Holy Spirit, however, clearly wanted me to reflect on my own distractions and to find a way to focus more on God and let Him refine me. I have already seen amazing results in staying off of the computer until after lunch each day (the small sacrifice I decided would begin my Lenten observance). Our schoolwork is getting done, and my children are getting ready in the morning without fits. Taking away this one small distraction from my mornings helped me to focus on the children and simple things like starting a load of laundry and unloading the dishwasher.

Of course, I had to laugh when I realized that indeed my children are often a distraction to my prayer life, but since I have no plans to rid my days of them, I must look elsewhere. I need to create space in my days, something mentioned in the same homily and again towards the end of Mass in a beautiful explanation by our pastor of why the recessional in Lent is ideally done in complete sacred silence. We all know that "In the silence of the heart, God speaks," (Blessed Teresa of Calcuttta) and eliminating distractions can only help me to embrace my word for 2010.

What other distractions are in my days? What keeps me from being so inconsistent in my devotions, chores, and daily activities? How can I build in bubbles of peace? How can you?

...to be continued.

Blogging Thoughts

In case you were wondering, no, I did not give up blogging for Lent. I have been wanting to write something for quite a while. For a few minutes I actually felt obligated to post something about Lent. I mean, if the mission of my blog is to encourage mothers in their spiritual lives, how can I not write about the most important season of the liturgical year, right?

Fortunately, some wise women wrote a bit here and there that helped confirmed my deepest thoughts and reminded me that it is okay for my blogging to be sporadic. I have made no promises otherwise. I only want to write when I have something (I think is) meaningful to share. Some days (weeks) I just don't, and until yesterday, I had nothing. Hopefully, you understand that.

Our spiritual journeys are complex; they do not fit into a calendar of scheduled blog posts. One of my goals here is to honestly share my personal spiritual journey, as appropriate. I cannot do that with any sort of schedule, regardless of all the savvy blog gurus who say one post a day is what readers want, or the fear in my head that I will lose all of my readers if I do not post at least two to three times a week. (No, I have not received any nasty-grams from my beloved readers; this is just good old Catholic guilt rearing its ugly head.)

So, all this brings me back to my original thought. It is Lent. What will I write? Well, the Holy Spirit kicked in yesterday and sent me on a glorious rabbit trail based on the homily at Mass and helped me to focus on what I want/need my Lenten season to be this year. I cannot wait to share with you over the next few days what the Lord has placed on my heart!

Holy Week Internet Fast

Happy Easter!!! I am finally fully back online, this blog being my last step.

The first few days of my Holy Week Internet fast were hard, but it was even harder to come back online! What a beautiful gift the Lord gave me by giving me that quiet and peace. Therefore, I have only gradually come back online, taking Monday to clean out the 200+ emails in my inbox, taking Tuesday to get up to date on my homeschooling library book requests and lesson research, and taking Wednesday to...well, stall by going back to Facebook, answering surveys sent to me, etc... LOL!

My week offline was incredible! I found myself accomplishing more housework, keeping my mind on God more often, and even playing with my children a bit more. The most interesting result was joy. Cheerfulness is something that does not come naturally to me, but because there was no email waiting or search pending that I was mentally anticipating, I enjoyed the moment much more. I found myself laughing more, taking my time with tasks, and focusing on what was before me. Unexpectedly, we were stuck at home the entire Triduum, and it was also peaceful and joyful.

So, I'm indulging online this week, catching up with the online programs I watch and blogs I frequent, just like I am devouring chocolate morning, noon, and night! But I am also observing myself and reflecting on how I can "go offline" for certain key periods during the day. I have tried this before, however, and it is quite a struggle for me. I am praying the Lord will show me a balanced approach to the Internet, so that I do not constantly feel pulled away from my daily duties (even as I resist the urge to see if I have mail!).

Today, though, I want to get back to blogging to share with you my small successes for Thursday and a reflection for this Sunday's Gospel. Perhaps you can think about your time online and, more importantly, the mental energy you give up to thinking about being online even when you are not. I pray your Holy Week was reflective and blessed and that your Easter Season continues to be amazing!

Offline for Holy Week

Readers,

I am going offline for Holy Week, hoping to spend more time in prayer and preparation for the mysteries of the Triduum and Easter Sunday. So, you will not see any posts from me until after Easter Sunday. I pray your Holy Week is filled with peace and grace as you meditate on our Lord's Passion and Resurrection. May He bless your family tremendously this week!

In the Love of Christ Crucified...

Sunday, April 5, 2009 ~ Palm Sunday of the Lord's Passion

Note: These Sunday & Holy Day Gospel Reflections are written so that mothers may prepare for Holy Mass in advance either as a small group or individually (especially since we are so often necessarily distracted during Mass itself).

Mark 14:1—15:47

This week, I invite you to pick up your own Bible and in silent meditation read this Gospel passage, the Lord's Passion. Not only is it too long to reprint here, I want you to have the opportunity to read it slowly and deliberately, pausing as necessary to truly reflect on what is happening.

Reflection

My friends, there is no reflection I can give to this Gospel at this time. I have been pondering it for days, but each time I read my Lord's Passion, I am overcome. I urge you to find some silence to read and ponder this Gospel sometime during this Holiest Week. May it ignite your love for Jesus Crucified anew.

Sunday, March 15, 2009 ~ Third Sunday of Lent

Note: These Sunday & Holy Day Gospel Reflections are written so that mothers may prepare for Holy Mass in advance either as a small group or individually (especially since we are so often necessarily distracted during Mass itself).

John 2:13-25

Since the Passover of the Jews was near,
Jesus went up to Jerusalem.
He found in the temple area those who sold oxen, sheep, and doves,
as well as the money changers seated there.
He made a whip out of cords
and drove them all out of the temple area, with the sheep and oxen,
and spilled the coins of the money changers
and overturned their tables,
and to those who sold doves he said,
"Take these out of here,
and stop making my Father's house a marketplace."
His disciples recalled the words of Scripture,
Zeal for your house will consume me.
At this the Jews answered and said to him,
"What sign can you show us for doing this?"
Jesus answered and said to them,
"Destroy this temple and in three days I will raise it up."
The Jews said,
"This temple has been under construction for forty-six years,
and you will raise it up in three days?"
But he was speaking about the temple of his body.
Therefore, when he was raised from the dead,
his disciples remembered that he had said this,
and they came to believe the Scripture
and the word Jesus had spoken.

While he was in Jerusalem for the feast of Passover,
many began to believe in his name
when they saw the signs he was doing.
But Jesus would not trust himself to them because he knew them all,
and did not need anyone to testify about human nature.
He himself understood it well.


Reflection

Since my personal theme this Lent is "gentleness," this scene is difficult for me to grasp. (and no, that's not going as well as I had imagined!) What is notable is that Jesus saves His righteous anger for those disturbing the sacredness of the temple. In the rest of the Gospel stories, he is gentle with the tax collectors and prostitutes. He is gentle with the sinners and pharisees. He is even gentle with Judas, His betrayer. Yet, here, He displays passion and purpose, overturning tables and cracking a whip.

Think about Holy Mother Church, especially in our country. The scandals that have recently rocked the faith of so many seem to drag on and on and have endless consequences. Even my own diocese has recently committed to withdrawing all financial support for all parishes due to financial woes from legal settlements and the like (which, by the way, might result in the closure of some of the poorest parishes, including my own, if we cannot raise our own funds to cover the gap left by the diocese; please pray!). All over the world, the sins of men present in the Church have defaced her holiness.

Think about your church building before, during, and after Mass. So few enter the House of God in humble silence and adoration, rather waving to friends and chatting with neighbors. I even saw a woman take a cell phone call during Mass a few weeks ago (yes, while sitting in a pew)! Announcements during Mass and countless tables in the narthex promoting some cause or fund can take away from Holy Mass (but do not always). Some even promote sinful behaviors or "social justice" issues that are contrary to Church teaching. Most simply do not behave as if they are walking on holy ground and approaching the altar of God.

Think about the temple that is the body, a temple of the Holy Spirit, where He resides in a physical way when we receive the Eucharist. In this Gospel, Jesus even refers to His body as the temple that will be rebuilt in three days. It is difficult to care for ourselves when caring for our families --- eating right, exercising, sleeping enough. Many struggle with sins of the flesh and/or tongue --- dressing immodestly, sexual immorality, gossip and slander. Our bodies are holy ground, just like our parish church, just like Holy Mother Church, just like the temple in Jerusalem.

Clearly, there is no sin that disturbs our Lord more than to profane what is sacred. For these sins, we must seek continual forgiveness and conversion, for ourselves and for others. We must pray for our Church, our priests, our parish, our bodies, that we may all be witness to the glory of God and not cause the Lord any further anguish.

Jesus, remind us of your righteous anger when we witness or experience someone or something that takes away from all things sacred. Help us to act, in gentleness where appropriate and with passion where appropriate, to bring reverence and awe to this world of sin.

Our Holy Father's Lenten Instructions = Fast.

Absolutely Amazing! If you have not read Pope Benedict's Lenten Message, please do so immediately. It is below for convenience. Then, read it again and again and again! Each time I read it, I am inspired anew. Below the message, I will share my journey through fasting and how it has blessed me!


MESSAGE OF HIS HOLINESS BENEDICT XVI FOR LENT 2009

"He fasted for forty days and forty nights, and afterwards he was hungry" (Mt 4,1-2)

Dear Brothers and Sisters!

At the beginning of Lent, which constitutes an itinerary of more intense spiritual training, the Liturgy sets before us again three penitential practices that are very dear to the biblical and Christian tradition – prayer, almsgiving, fasting – to prepare us to better celebrate Easter and thus experience God’s power that, as we shall hear in the Paschal Vigil, “dispels all evil, washes guilt away, restores lost innocence, brings mourners joy, casts out hatred, brings us peace and humbles earthly pride” (Paschal Præconium). For this year’s Lenten Message, I wish to focus my reflections especially on the value and meaning of fasting. Indeed, Lent recalls the forty days of our Lord’s fasting in the desert, which He undertook before entering into His public ministry. We read in the Gospel: “Jesus was led up by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil. He fasted for forty days and forty nights, and afterwards he was hungry” (Mt 4,1-2). Like Moses, who fasted before receiving the tablets of the Law (cf. Ex 34,28) and Elijah’s fast before meeting the Lord on Mount Horeb (cf. 1 Kings 19,8), Jesus, too, through prayer and fasting, prepared Himself for the mission that lay before Him, marked at the start by a serious battle with the tempter.

We might wonder what value and meaning there is for us Christians in depriving ourselves of something that in itself is good and useful for our bodily sustenance. The Sacred Scriptures and the entire Christian tradition teach that fasting is a great help to avoid sin and all that leads to it. For this reason, the history of salvation is replete with occasions that invite fasting. In the very first pages of Sacred Scripture, the Lord commands man to abstain from partaking of the prohibited fruit: “You may freely eat of every tree of the garden; but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat of it you shall die” (Gn 2, 16-17). Commenting on the divine injunction, Saint Basil observes that “fasting was ordained in Paradise,” and “the first commandment in this sense was delivered to Adam.” He thus concludes: “ ‘You shall not eat’ is a law of fasting and abstinence” (cf. Sermo de jejunio: PG 31, 163, 98). Since all of us are weighed down by sin and its consequences, fasting is proposed to us as an instrument to restore friendship with God. Such was the case with Ezra, who, in preparation for the journey from exile back to the Promised Land, calls upon the assembled people to fast so that “we might humble ourselves before our God” (8,21). The Almighty heard their prayer and assured them of His favor and protection. In the same way, the people of Nineveh, responding to Jonah’s call to repentance, proclaimed a fast, as a sign of their sincerity, saying: “Who knows, God may yet repent and turn from his fierce anger, so that we perish not?” (3,9). In this instance, too, God saw their works and spared them.

In the New Testament, Jesus brings to light the profound motive for fasting, condemning the attitude of the Pharisees, who scrupulously observed the prescriptions of the law, but whose hearts were far from God. True fasting, as the divine Master repeats elsewhere, is rather to do the will of the Heavenly Father, who “sees in secret, and will reward you” (Mt 6,18). He Himself sets the example, answering Satan, at the end of the forty days spent in the desert that “man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God” (Mt 4,4). The true fast is thus directed to eating the “true food,” which is to do the Father’s will (cf. Jn 4,34). If, therefore, Adam disobeyed the Lord’s command “of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat,” the believer, through fasting, intends to submit himself humbly to God, trusting in His goodness and mercy.

The practice of fasting is very present in the first Christian community (cf. Acts 13,3; 14,22; 27,21; 2 Cor 6,5). The Church Fathers, too, speak of the force of fasting to bridle sin, especially the lusts of the “old Adam,” and open in the heart of the believer a path to God. Moreover, fasting is a practice that is encountered frequently and recommended by the saints of every age. Saint Peter Chrysologus writes: “Fasting is the soul of prayer, mercy is the lifeblood of fasting. So if you pray, fast; if you fast, show mercy; if you want your petition to be heard, hear the petition of others. If you do not close your ear to others, you open God’s ear to yourself” (Sermo 43: PL 52, 320. 322).

In our own day, fasting seems to have lost something of its spiritual meaning, and has taken on, in a culture characterized by the search for material well-being, a therapeutic value for the care of one’s body. Fasting certainly bring benefits to physical well-being, but for believers, it is, in the first place, a “therapy” to heal all that prevents them from conformity to the will of God. In the Apostolic Constitution Pænitemini of 1966, the Servant of God Paul VI saw the need to present fasting within the call of every Christian to “no longer live for himself, but for Him who loves him and gave himself for him … he will also have to live for his brethren“ (cf. Ch. I). Lent could be a propitious time to present again the norms contained in the Apostolic Constitution, so that the authentic and perennial significance of this long held practice may be rediscovered, and thus assist us to mortify our egoism and open our heart to love of God and neighbor, the first and greatest Commandment of the new Law and compendium of the entire Gospel (cf. Mt 22, 34-40).

The faithful practice of fasting contributes, moreover, to conferring unity to the whole person, body and soul, helping to avoid sin and grow in intimacy with the Lord. Saint Augustine, who knew all too well his own negative impulses, defining them as “twisted and tangled knottiness” (Confessions, II, 10.18), writes: “I will certainly impose privation, but it is so that he will forgive me, to be pleasing in his eyes, that I may enjoy his delightfulness” (Sermo 400, 3, 3: PL 40, 708). Denying material food, which nourishes our body, nurtures an interior disposition to listen to Christ and be fed by His saving word. Through fasting and praying, we allow Him to come and satisfy the deepest hunger that we experience in the depths of our being: the hunger and thirst for God.

At the same time, fasting is an aid to open our eyes to the situation in which so many of our brothers and sisters live. In his First Letter, Saint John admonishes: “If anyone has the world’s goods, and sees his brother in need, yet shuts up his bowels of compassion from him – how does the love of God abide in him?” (3,17). Voluntary fasting enables us to grow in the spirit of the Good Samaritan, who bends low and goes to the help of his suffering brother (cf. Encyclical Deus caritas est, 15). By freely embracing an act of self-denial for the sake of another, we make a statement that our brother or sister in need is not a stranger. It is precisely to keep alive this welcoming and attentive attitude towards our brothers and sisters that I encourage the parishes and every other community to intensify in Lent the custom of private and communal fasts, joined to the reading of the Word of God, prayer and almsgiving. From the beginning, this has been the hallmark of the Christian community, in which special collections were taken up (cf. 2 Cor 8-9; Rm 15, 25-27), the faithful being invited to give to the poor what had been set aside from their fast (Didascalia Ap., V, 20,18). This practice needs to be rediscovered and encouraged again in our day, especially during the liturgical season of Lent.

From what I have said thus far, it seems abundantly clear that fasting represents an important ascetical practice, a spiritual arm to do battle against every possible disordered attachment to ourselves. Freely chosen detachment from the pleasure of food and other material goods helps the disciple of Christ to control the appetites of nature, weakened by original sin, whose negative effects impact the entire human person. Quite opportunely, an ancient hymn of the Lenten liturgy exhorts: “Utamur ergo parcius, / verbis cibis et potibus, / somno, iocis et arctius / perstemus in custodia – Let us use sparingly words, food and drink, sleep and amusements. May we be more alert in the custody of our senses.”

Dear brothers and sisters, it is good to see how the ultimate goal of fasting is to help each one of us, as the Servant of God Pope John Paul II wrote, to make the complete gift of self to God (cf. Encyclical Veritatis splendor, 21). May every family and Christian community use well this time of Lent, therefore, in order to cast aside all that distracts the spirit and grow in whatever nourishes the soul, moving it to love of God and neighbor. I am thinking especially of a greater commitment to prayer, lectio divina, recourse to the Sacrament of Reconciliation and active participation in the Eucharist, especially the Holy Sunday Mass. With this interior disposition, let us enter the penitential spirit of Lent. May the Blessed Virgin Mary, Causa nostrae laetitiae, accompany and support us in the effort to free our heart from slavery to sin, making it evermore a “living tabernacle of God.” With these wishes, while assuring every believer and ecclesial community of my prayer for a fruitful Lenten journey, I cordially impart to all of you my Apostolic Blessing.

From the Vatican, 11 December 2008.

BENEDICTUS PP. XVI

© Copyright 2008 - Libreria Editrice Vaticana


Reflection

Not too many years ago, I thought that fasting was too difficult for me. During Lent, I did the obligatory fasting and abstinence the Church requires but no more. My Lenten sacrifices rarely included any type of food. I vaguely recall one year in college when I gave up chocolate for Lent, but I also remember breaking that fast.

A few years ago, I opted to finally give up chocolate for Lent. I thought it would be miserably difficult and almost impossible to do - the ultimate sacrifice. :) My self-discipline, in general, has always needed work. I can be incredibly reliable in doing things that I want to do, but if I do not want to do it, that is a whole other story.

Instead, giving up chocolate was a gift! It was only difficult on a few occasions, and I was successful in making that sacrifice. It proved to me that I was capable of such self-discipline, finally mature enough to control my cravings. The following year, I also gave up chocolate, and the year following, I gave up all sweets. A bit of spiritual pride ensued, of course, which I continue to battle.

But only recently, within the past few months, have I made fasting a part of my daily life and not restricted it to Lent. Our mother's group felt a calling to fast and pray one day a week for holy priests and the priests of our homes (our husbands) through the intercession of St. Joseph. As soon as I heard the idea, I knew God was asking this of me. It was a new challenge, something I had never done before (fast outside of Lent).

In the beginning, I skipped lunch and did not snack between breakfast and dinner. Since I do not eat much anyway, this seemed a simple way to start and ended up being relatively easy. Within a few weeks, though, I began to skip breakfast, as well. Now, on Wednesdays, my practice is to not eat anything until dinner. I drink fluids throughout the day, especially tea to keep me going, and I can say that I genuinely feel hunger in the middle of the day.

The graces brought through this sacrifice, however, have been tremendous! Thanks be to God, Wednesdays are truly my best days! I am in the most control of my tongue and my heart is focused on kindness and compassion towards my children and others. Because the lack of food causes me to slow down, this bit of fuzzy-brain requires that I focus carefully on what is really important. And, when I feel the hunger, I offer it for others.

These graces are now starting to overflow into other days of the week when I am not fasting, and such positive results come more naturally. I guess inadvertently training myself to gentleness on days of fasting has made it more of a habit during the rest of the week. The biggest joy has been to see that through prayer and fasting I really can change some bad habits! I have always prayed to change (and worked at it), but until I began fasting, I never really saw significant results. Putting them together is the key.

The Holy Father's insistence that fasting integrated with prayer become a more regular part of our Lenten journey has me in awe. I am praying and discerning what the Lord wants me to sacrifice during Lent and what my fasting will look like. I urge you to do the same. Fasting, far from being a painful struggle, is really a grace, allowing us to depend entirely on God and offer that complete gift of self John Paul II so often mentioned. When our tummies rumble, the only way we can overcome the feeling is to offer it to the Lord, which trains our souls to turn to Him every day!

Just as fasting from food gave Jesus the strength to overcome temptation in the desert, our fasting can give us the gift of His strength to conquer our own sinfulness. This is only logical, and I have seen firsthand the truth of this Gospel message. The kind of fasting Pope Benedict is encouraging is not our culture's type of fasting for the purpose of dieting or cleansing of our systems. Its purpose is to cleanse our souls, wipe them clean from sinfulness, and bring about our salvation.

May you, dear readers, be mightily blessed by fasting and prayer this Lent and beyond!