Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Deer in Headlights

That's me! I am suffering from New Year's-itis. A couple of weeks ago, I almost "sat down and made a list about everything that's wrong. What's wrong with me. What's wrong with you. And how that list went on..." (Marie Bellet) I have been reading Gretchen Rubin's The Happiness Project and trying to figure out how to modify her ideas to make my own Holiness Project! Surely, if I just make myself a to-do list of all the things I want to change about myself, that will work, right?

Yikes! Listen to me! No wonder the priest started out with "You know yourself very well" during my Confession last weekend!

It is the New Year. In fact, I have spent the past 25 days pondering this fact. Wise women are discussing resolutions, sharing changes that workedMany other bloggers are choosing a "Word for the Year" to guide their thoughts. And, I have been stuck in indecision.

I have been trying to figure out where to start. What goals are reasonable for this year? What fault do I need to correct first, because I certainly cannot fix them all at the same time!?

And, so, I have spent almost all of January trying to figure out how to have a better year than last year (and last year was pretty good), how to be a better person than last year (never-ending process), and I have failed miserably. I have failed in making resolutions and amending my life, because it is all too overwhelming. I can not seem to prioritize and just start something, anything.

Then, in the darkness last night, nursing and praying, inspired by Elizabeth's post, I asked God for a word. Words, you see, are very important to me. I love words! It only took a few minutes, and I am very surprised by the result (I'll explain its meaning in my next post) ....


1 comment:

Erin said...

Hi, me, Erin again. God has been giving me a "word for the year" for a few years now. My words this year are Hope and Faith, specifically in the way of praying for a more and deeper Hope and Faith as a result of my words from last year which were Peace and Joy. He taught me, after an entire year, that Peace and Joy are the fruits of increase Faith and Hope. Anyway, I have found great comfort and peace in a small book that was suggested to the retreatants on a Silent Retreat I attended in November. It is called "Searching for an maintaining Peace" by Father Jacques Phillippe. It is AMAZING! Just wanted to share that with you. I hope that's OK.