Can it really be? I'm teary when I think of that day. Eight weeks from today I should be holding my sweet little baby boy in my arms. My cup is overflowing.
Honestly, I also have butterflies in my tummy (not just from tiny feet kicking), although they are welcome butterflies. It has been five years since I have held my own newborn. I have been longing for this time, this big belly in the way, the aching back, the sore feet. Now, I embrace it all with joy that surprises even me, stopping to put my feet up without worrying about what is not getting done, gazing into the faces of my two oldest children as they tell me some vitally important non-sensical thing and wondering what will it be like?
He will be here in this room with me. How will I not become obsessed with his every breath? I see the crib still needing sheets and blankets. When will I finally get all those little things I still need for him? My last birth was a surprise c-section. Can I be strong for this surgery and not quiver with fear? His siblings are so excited. Will their joy continue through the disruption of their routines after his birth?
The answers do not really matter, because throughout it all I am and I will be praising Him.
I will praise Him. No. Matter. What. --- That has been my call for the past year, through angst and heartache, through doubt and fear, and now through joy and delight. --- I will praise Him. No. Matter. What.
Because He has done great things for me by giving me life through His death, by teaching me life through my own death to self in many, many ways these past ten years of living my vocation as a married woman. And, He is still teaching me, thank goodness! I want to be taught! His lessons are more precious than silver and gold or an infant's cry. He has all of the answers. He is the only answer.
Easter is about Resurrection. It is about dying to rise again. It is about celebrating new life and being awestruck by its beauty. It is about embracing the sorrows and hoping in Heaven. It is about having the courage to share encouragement in this often dark world. It is about rejoicing for the presence of those who walk this journey with us. Easter puts things in perspective.
So, today as I reflect on the ways these mothers (and so many more) valiantly give their all in pursuit of a life of holiness for themselves, their families, and others, I am inspired. For my sanctity depends on the daily commitment I make to lean on Christ for all things, today, eight weeks from today, and every day in between.
His empty tomb is an invitation to all of us to leave behind our old selves and put on the self He has created us to be! May we look forward to every new day as an opportunity to go beyond our imaginings and be invigorated by our own new life in Christ!
