Love Does Not Insist on Its Own Way

Fr. Nathan Cromley in his Faces of Mercy* presentation talked about the parable of the Good Samaritan in a way that convicted me. He said all those who did not stop to help the injured man kept walking, because there was something in their minds that was more important than stopping to help him.

If we truly trust God to direct our lives, then we should stop and do what's in front of us truly needing attention and trust He will work out the rest. I think of 1 Corinthians here: "[Love] does not insist on its own way." But we do, at least I do. Ridiculously, I believe that sticking to my plan and getting it all done is better than doing what the Lord puts in front of me at a given moment.

We think that we do not have time for certain things, a phone call from a needy friend or relative, a child begging to play or read a story, or pulling up the daily readings to reflect for a few minutes. When we put first things first, God rewards us. As I told my teenager the other night, when I stop what I am doing and give the little boys a few minutes of focused attention first, they often then play joyfully for a long while, allowing me to accomplish more than I would have if I kept rebuking their interruptions.

Rather than taking the attitude of Parkinson, "work expands so as to fill the time available for its completion," and worrying about the abundance of tasks that are more important in my mind, I advise taking the Life's Little Instruction Book way:

Don't say you don't have enough time. You have exactly the same number of hours per day that were given to Helen Keller, Pasteur, Michaelangelo, Mother Teresa, Leonardo da Vinci, Thomas Jefferson, and Albert Einstein.

Have a blessed day, letting God lead the way!

* It's not too late to register for access to the Faces of Mercy Online Catholic Conference 4 Moms! You get access for the duration of Lent to over twenty fantastic presentations for only $10.99 with coupon code "mother"

Lord, Have Mercy on Me, a Sinner

"The great mercy of God will now descend upon us for 40 days so that we can become that great mercy to others." Fr. David Konderla, St. Mary's Catholic Center, Texas A&M University

This quote has been haunting me. This Jubilee Year of Mercy is a call to learn more about mercy and to show mercy to others. Yet, how can we give what we do not have?

And as mothers, how hard it can be to accept mercy for ourselves, much less give it to our husbands and children! So much depends on us. We are told, "The attitude I adopt every day has the potential to affect the whole demeanor of my home." (sallyclarkson.com) Then there is the food, the clothing, the instruction that is mostly left up to mom. We have more opportunities than most to feed the hungry (like feeding a tween boy every hour of the waking day) and clothe the naked (like wrestling a screaming toddler), but we don't often see these things as acts of mercy. They're just our job!

I propose that we can't acknowledge these opportunities for mercy, because we don't understand mercy. And to understand mercy, we need to accept it and let it into our souls, allow it to seep into our hearts and penetrate our attitude. Only an attitude of mercy will open our eyes to the actuality of mercy that surrounds us. We have to let God love us with His mercy, so we can shower mercy upon others!

To dig more deeply into mercy this Lent, sign up for the Faces of Mercy Catholic Conference 4 Moms here! This online conference gives you unlimited access to over 20 quality presentations for the Lenten season, including a LIVE presentation this Saturday, February 20 by one of my favorite Catholic homeschooling moms, Jennifer Fulwiler! I've decided to highlight this excellent resource on the blog this week, because it fits in so well with our breakfast conversation from last month and is such a flexible, affordable, inspiring conference for moms! And you can get $4.00 off by entering my affiliate coupon code "mother" (any affiliate funds I earn will be used to offset the cost of our breakfast group's conference access, thanks)

What other acts of mercy do moms do on a daily basis that we often don't identify as works of mercy?

Mercy with and for Our Children

The final two questions we considered at our January Potluck Breakfast for Catholic Homeschooling Moms were the following:

 How do I give mercy to others?

This is clearly important, for Luke says, “Be merciful just as your heavenly Father is merciful.” (Luke 6) We are called to show mercy to our husband, our children, our family, our friends, our neighbors, and even strangers. I think the key is to first accept the person and to love that person as God made them here and now, rather than try to change them. We forgive and ask for forgiveness often in our family, but my bigger fault is in not trying to understand what is in the heart of each person and not demonstrating empathy and compassion before reacting to whatever situation or behavior arises.

Then, of course, the corporal and spiritual works of mercy are key. These give us concrete ways to relieve another’s misery, to be compassionate towards their unhappiness. We can, do, and should show these works of mercy every day in our families and communities. This is a sort of to-do list for mercy, and you know I love to-do lists!

The traditional enumeration of the corporal works of mercy is as follows:

ü  To feed the hungry;

ü  To give drink to the thirsty;

ü  To clothe the naked;

ü  To harbour the harbourless;

ü  To visit the sick;

ü  To ransom the captive;

ü  To bury the dead.

The spiritual works of mercy are:

ü  To instruct the ignorant;

ü  To counsel the doubtful;

ü  To admonish sinners;

ü  To bear wrongs patiently;

ü  To forgive offences willingly;

ü  To comfort the afflicted;

ü  To pray for the living and the dead.

http://www.newadvent.org/cathen/10198d.htm

As a homeschooler, how do I teach my children about mercy?

I think the primary and best method is by example. To be a disciple requires a living example. So just as Jesus was a living example for his disciples, we must be the living example of mercy for our children. The beauty of homeschooling is the constant opportunity to build relationships with our children, to demonstrate mercy and walk with them on the Christian journey.

We also, of course, can give them direct instruction in mercy. The document I previously shared called Celebrating the Year of Mercy in My Home is full of links I am using this year to teach my children about mercy, and there are tons of resources online for teaching the spiritual and corporal works of mercy to children, as well.

Finally, for me, teaching mercy is simply being intentional and mindful about such things. I ask myself periodically: What do I want my children to know? Be? Do? And how do our daily lives reflect those goals? It’s so easy for me to get caught up in the burdens of daily life that I neglect simple and important lessons I could be teaching along the way.

Want some more ideas? Sign up for the Faces of Mercy Catholic Conference 4 Moms here! This online conference gives you unlimited access to over 20 quality presentations for the Lenten season, including a LIVE presentation this Saturday, February 20 by one of my favorite Catholic homeschooling moms, Jennifer Fulwiler! I've decided to highlight this excellent resource on the blog this week, because it fits in so well with our breakfast conversation from last month and is such a flexible, affordable, inspiring conference for moms! And you can get $4.00 off by entering my affiliate coupon code "mother" (any affiliate funds I earn will be used to offset the cost of our breakfast group's conference access, thanks)

What's one way you and your children can show mercy to others today?

God's Mercy for Me

The next two questions we considered at our January Potluck Breakfast for Catholic Homeschooling Moms were the following:

How does God show mercy to me?

First, His mercy comes through forgiveness. He is slow to anger, abounding in mercy (Ps. 103). He does not treat us as our sins deserve. Also we receive mercy through the grace He pours out on us daily to alieve our suffering hearts. As mothers, we definitely know that we cannot fulfill our vocation without Christ Jesus. Through the Old Testament lessons I mentioned earlier, we can further see God’s mercy when he brings good out of bad. I love the Mister Rogers quote:

When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, "Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping." To this day, especially in times of "disaster," I remember my mother's words and I am always comforted by realizing that there are still so many helpers – so many caring people in this world.

http://www.fredrogers.org/parents/special-challenges/tragic-events.php#sthash.INExazsS.dpuf

And this one from Pope St. John Paul II’s encyclical on God the Father, titled Rich in Mercy (he wrote an encyclical on each person of the Blessed Trinity, and it’s noteworthy that he titled the one on God the Father this):

In this way, in Christ and through Christ, God also becomes especially visible in His mercy; that is to say, there is emphasized that attribute of the divinity which the Old Testament, using various concepts and terms, already defined as "mercy." Christ confers on the whole of the Old Testament tradition about God's mercy a definitive meaning. Not only does He speak of it and explain it by the use of comparisons and parables, but above all He Himself makes it incarnate and personifies it. He Himself, in a certain sense, is mercy. To the person who sees it in Him - and finds it in Him - God becomes "visible" in a particular way as the Father who is rich in mercy. (see Eph. 2:4)

http://w2.vatican.va/content/john-paul-ii/en/encyclicals/documents/hf_jp-ii_enc_30111980_dives-in-misericordia.html#%24D

And, most importantly, it’s through His constant love that He shows us mercy. Every act of love is an act of mercy.

How do I accept God’s mercy (aka be merciful to myself)?

I think it’s important to know God and constantly seek to know more about God in order to accept His mystery of mercy. Pope Francis wants to teach us about His mercy:

Jesus is all mercy, Jesus is all love: he is God made man. Each of us, each one of us, is that little lost lamb, the coin that was mislaid; each one of us is that son who has squandered his freedom on false idols, illusions of happiness, and has lost everything. But God does not forget us, the Father never abandons us. He is a patient father, always waiting for us! He respects our freedom, but he remains faithful forever. And when we come back to him, he welcomes us like children into his house, for he never ceases, not for one instant, to wait for us with love. And his heart rejoices over every child who returns. He is celebrating because he is joy. God has this joy, when one of us sinners goes to him and asks his forgiveness.

https://w2.vatican.va/content/francesco/en/angelus/2013/documents/papa-francesco_angelus_20130915.html

We also have to love God and let God love us. I’m going to venture to say that many of us struggle with letting anyone fully love us, much less God’s infinite love. But this is what saves us from ourselves and our own failings as Pope Francis reminds us:

Jesus' attitude is striking: we do not hear words of scorn, we do not hear words of condemnation, but only words of love, of mercy, which are an invitation to conversion. “Neither do I condemn you; go, and do not sin again” (v. 11). Ah! Brothers and Sisters, God's face is the face of a merciful father who is always patient. Have you thought about God's patience, the patience he has with each one of us? That is his mercy. He always has patience, patience with us, he understands us, he waits for us, he does not tire of forgiving us if we are able to return to him with a contrite heart. “Great is God's mercy”, says the Psalm.

https://w2.vatican.va/content/francesco/en/angelus/2013/documents/papa-francesco_angelus_20130317.html

This is another reason I am always stressing to mamas to love yourselves, make time for yourselves. We need to care for ourselves by taking breaks and enjoying hobbies, finding ways to nourish friendships and nurture our souls. Loving ourselves prepares us to accept God’s love and mercy.

One way to love yourself this Lent and make time for spiritual reflection is to sign up for the Faces of Mercy Catholic Conference 4 Moms here! This online conference gives you unlimited access to over 20 quality presentations for the Lenten season, including a LIVE presentation this Saturday, February 20 by one of my favorite Catholic homeschooling moms, Jennifer Fulwiler! I've decided to highlight this excellent resource on the blog this week, because it fits in so well with our breakfast conversation from last month and is such a flexible, affordable, inspiring conference for moms! And you can get $4.00 off by entering my affiliate coupon code "mother" (any affiliate funds I earn will be used to offset the cost of our breakfast group's conference access, thanks)

Where do you need to acknowledge and accept God's mercy in your life in small and big ways?

What Is Mercy?

Mercy. When I was newly married, I taught a sixth grade religious education class. The book we used was titled God’s Merciful Love and traced the stories of the Old Testament, illustrating how God’s mercy is constant despite man’s wandering and disobedience. In Christian thought there is this constant contrast between the vengeful Old Testament Father and the kindness of His Son in the New Testament that doesn’t make any sense until you dig deeper into the mystery of God’s mercy.

Through teaching that year I learned much about God’s mercy, and over time, the Lord has illuminated more and more to me. For that is the way God works. He uses our everyday circumstances to reveal Himself to us. Our weekly attendance at Sunday Mass at the Mission of Divine Mercy has led me deeper into this mystery, too. This Jubilee Year of Mercy is an exciting time for me to allow the Lord to teach me more, and lately I have been thinking about the questions I have about God’s mercy.

Let’s start with: What is mercy? I love this explanation:

It wasn’t until recently, when I heard a priest’s homily about mercy that I finally had a concrete definition to apply to my thoughts and actions in daily living. This priest broke down the Latin word for mercy, which is misericordia, derived from the two words miserere (“pity” or “misery”) and cor (“heart”). He then proceeded to say that when we ask for God’s mercy, we are essentially asking him to relieve us of a heart that is in misery. And our hearts can be in a state of misery not just from sin, but from the deep hurt caused by a broken relationship with a family member, from the suffering of infertility, from the pain of a physical or mental illness, from losing a job, from being betrayed or abandoned, from spiritual or physical poverty, and so on.

Now when I think about mercy as “relieving someone from a heart of misery,” I realize that I’ve experienced God’s mercy much more than I could ever count. And I’ve also realized that I, in turn, have given mercy to others in more ways than just by forgiving someone who has wronged me.

http://dynamiccatholic.com/year-of-mercy/best-advent-ever/what-does-mercy-mean

For another definition, in St. Thomas Aquinas’ Summa Theologica, we find:

I answer that, As Augustine says (De Civ. Dei ix, 5), mercy is heartfelt sympathy for another's distress, impelling us to succor him if we can. For mercy takes its name "misericordia" from denoting a man's compassionate heart [miserum cor] for another's unhappiness. Now unhappiness is opposed to happiness: and it is essential to beatitude or happiness that one should obtain what one wishes; for, according to Augustine (De Trin. xiii, 5), "happy is he who has whatever he desires, and desires nothing amiss." Hence, on the other hand, it belongs to unhappiness that a man should suffer what he wishes not. (emphasis mine)
http://www.newadvent.org/summa/3030.htm

In his Easter 2013 Ubi et Orbi message, Pope Francis challenges us:

God’s mercy can make even the driest land become a garden, can restore life to dry bones (Ez. 37:1-14) … Let us be renewed by God’s mercy, let us be loved by Jesus, let us enable the power of his love to transform our lives, too, and let us become agents of this mercy.

https://w2.vatican.va/content/francesco/en/messages/urbi/documents/papa-francesco_20130331_urbi-et-orbi-pasqua.html

"What is mercy?" was the first question we discussed at our January Potluck Breakfast for Catholic Homeschooling Mothers, and I'll share our subsequent conversation in the coming days. To further your own understanding of mercy, consider signing up for the Faces of Mercy Catholic Conference 4 Moms here! This online conference gives you unlimited access to over 20 quality presentations for the Lenten season including a LIVE presentation this Saturday, February 20 by one of my favorite Catholic homeschooling moms, Jennifer Fulwiler! I've decided to highlight this excellent resource on the blog this week, because it fits in so well with our breakfast conversation from last month and is such a flexible, affordable, inspiring conference for moms! And you can get $4.00 off by entering my affiliate coupon code "mother" (any affiliate funds I earn will be used to offset the cost of our breakfast group's conference access, thanks)

What is your definition of mercy? Has it always included only forgiveness or also this idea of "relieving someone from a heart of mercy"?