Personality and Marriage

Sometimes you disappoint your spouse just by being you, and there is nothing you can do about it. We are unique individuals, and while our differences can beautifully sync together to create a symbiotic relationship, sometimes they don't.

We are about to celebrate 15 years of marriage next week. I have always been an extrovert, gaining energy and enthusiasm by being around others. My husband, on the other hand, is a natural introvert. Sometimes more than others he has forced himself out of his comfort zone to participate in social gatherings and large events, but he's more inclined, as he puts it, to be a homebody.

The result is that he brings an amazing peace to our household that I do not. He has taught me over the years to enjoy being at home with just my family. I have learned not to make plans for the weekends. Sure, sometimes I suggest possible outings, but we do not make many commitments anymore. His example shows me that I do not always have to be doing something somewhere else to have a fulfilling life, and I think, has therefore, helped me temper my own propensity to overdo it. I certainly have more peace about focusing on my current season of mothering young children and the limitations of that. Children thrive on routines, too, so I know they benefit from our laid back, comfortable leisure time.

But, I still need to get out and be around other people. I am still a natural leader who gains energy and joy from working with a team to accomplish something. So, sometimes I have to tell him that I feel called to get involved in something, and he's less than thrilled about the investment. A few times we have found things we can do together, because he is a skilled leader, as well. For the most part, though, I'm always leading something.

I try my best to get my extrovert fix on weekdays when he is at work, but sometimes my activities encroach on my evenings and weekends. And, the bottom line is that he doesn't like that. He accepts my desire to be involved in such things a bit begrudgingly, but he knows the joy it brings me. So, his love for me conquers his own desires.

There have been seasons where I have tried to be less out-of-the-house, and it works, for a while. It never lasts long, because this is the way God made me. Over the years, we have sacrificed for one another in a variety of ways, but today I am thankful for a husband who "gets me" and sees my joy in being the way God made me!

In what ways has your personality challenged your marriage?

Bless Your Heart!