I am officially incapable of small talk. Today I realized that unless I am given a specific topic of mutual interest to myself and the other party, at least as a starting point, I am incompetent to carry on any sort of conversation. Instead, my brain shuts down and my tongue is mute.
I have noticed this for some time now, especially since having children, but for some reason, the deficiency seems at an all time low in this great big new city. I send apologies to all women who have tried to start conversations with me where it appears I am not really paying attention or interested in talking. Your efforts in themselves are very meaningful to me, and one day perhaps we will connect on a deeper level after several of these stilted moments.
For most of my life I have been one of those people who only has a few close friends. In high school I had three "best" friends. Eventually, one became my "bestest" friend. The rest were just acquaintances to me. I make friends pretty easily, but I tend to connect with only a handful of people and stick with them, maintaining cordial acquaintanceships with others. Admittedly, since moving in September to a new state, my close friends are all thousands of miles away. It takes me time, and some good conversation, to get to know who those close friends are.
So, if you want to talk to me about the weather or have a casual discussion about a general topic, I do not recommend it. Feel free to ask me about anything that I am passionate about in which you are genuinely interested , as well. Then, I will probably never shut up.