A New Resolution

(alternate title - The Day I Was Humbled Into Action by Elizabeth Foss Quoting Me!)

Just a short bit ago (yesterday perhaps) I was lamenting my prayer life. I just do not take the time I know I need to spend with my Lord in order to receive enough graces to get through each day. I am weary. This road is long and hard, as it should be, but that’s a deep thought for another day.

A couple of weeks ago, the Lord reminded me that, “In the beginning was the Word.” And I realized then that I need to immerse myself in Scripture. I feel, like Elizabeth Foss so eloquently articulated for me, that the dryness of my prayer and the longing of my heart can be healed with God’s Word. She shares:

I wonder how many of us spend as much time wondering what God thinks as we do scrolling through social media looking for ideas, or opinions, or arguments. (After this week, I’m thoroughly convinced people go looking for arguments.) We have time. We can read what God has to say every day. Even if we gave Him a fraction of the time we give to other reading, we’d give Him significant time.

(http://catholicherald.com/Opinions/Columnists/Elizabeth_Foss/God_s_conversation_with_us/)

Her words feel like a 2x4 to the head from God! Dummy! Pick up a Bible. It doesn’t matter where you begin; just begin with Me. And, so I do. At the beginning. Where the Word Became Flesh. (John 1)

Have you seen lately the treasures you can find there, friends? Oh my! The light we all need today in this broken world. The example of John who testified to the light and yet was not well received. And, the flesh, the man, the Eucharist, our greatest treasure. That’s only verses 1-13! John then writes:

And we have seen his glory, the glory of a father’s only son, full of grace and truth. (John 1:14b)

I haven’t told you yet that the word on my heart for this year is “glory,” and I will soon share with you the incredible graces I witnessed and received at our Mother’s Day of Grace this past Saturday. I am in awe at the careful love God has for me in half a verse of His Word!

My friends, He has words just for you, too. Words that will stir your heart, that will reach you wherever you are on this road to Him, whether you are filled with peace or struggling with doubt. The Bible is God’s gift to His children, and waiting inside are messages for each of us.

If you do not pick up your Bible daily, please join me in a new resolution. It may be the end of January, but let’s push away the burnout blues of February and prepare ourselves for the season of Lent to come by seeping ourselves in Scripture. Spending just a few minutes a day with the Word of God will surely bring great fruits for each of us and our families.

Will you join me?

You Have My Permission

I don’t have time. That thought runs through my head on a daily basis about many things. Fun outings. Kid meltdowns. Personal interests. Whenever I think of the things that I want to do and don’t get to do, that’s my internal response. The voice that whines in my head.

What thing would you like to do that you don’t have time to do? For you? Maybe you like to sew or read or paint or craft. Think especially of those things you want to do that do not have a tangible benefit for your family but are a way for you to create something.

I have a friend who makes fun t-shirts for her family to wear. I have another friend who has a direct sales business that she loves, and the income helps her family get through each month. That's fantastic. In this day of Etsy and blogging, mamas can turn almost anything in a money-making endeavor or turn their creative passions into tangible items that benefit their families. But, while that’s admirable, the rest of us who can’t handle the stress or logistics of self-employment (trust me, I tried a few times) and whose passions can’t directly benefit our children and husband still do desire things that bring us joy and feed our souls.

So, that thing? The one that you look forward to and love doing but takes time away from your homemaking, mothering, homeschooling, paid position, wife duties, etc? Do it anyway. Seriously. You have my permission. You don’t need it, but you have it.

As women, often we want to make lovely things, especially in this fallen, broken world. I remember growing up, noticing that my mother would sew and write and garden for fun. She enjoyed it. Sometimes it benefited our family directly, but sometimes it was just something she wanted to do. And it’s so difficult for me to follow her example.

But God made women as part of His creative genius. Beauty is of God, and I’m not talking the perfect Pinterest-beauty. I’m talking the art made with your heart. In my experience, when I do set aside that time, 15 minutes here and there or an hour or two once a week, my soul soars. I gain peace and confidence that does directly benefit my family. Mamas, you know this is true.

So, again, I give you permission, and I beg of you. Please, this week, take some time to do that thing. I made myself sit down and write this, and I challenge you to go do something that brings you joy - and brings God glory - and come back and share what you did! Our world is a messy place, but if we find beauty and create beauty, our souls will glorify God and His light will brighten our often dark and dismal world.

Last Year

I bought this little decor item as a post-Christmas gift for myself as a reminder of what I did last year.

Last year, I said goodbye to my husband five times, each time knowing the stretch of time before I saw him again would be longer.

Last year, I said see-you-later to the dearest group of mom friends I have ever had, and fought little by little to make brand new mom friends.

I spent five months living in an apartment with my four kids and no husband, except for the couple of nights he visited before deploying.

I searched for a house, bought a house, moved into a house, and set up a house that my husband has never seen and will not see for several more months.

Last year, I survived my 17th wedding anniversary, Thanksgiving, my 40th birthday, Christmas, and New Year's Eve but missed my man every second.

Last year, I learned that fighting doubt and anxiety is exhausting, terrible work and that lowering expectations is a perfectly acceptable, but humbling, coping strategy.

I loved my children through a 2600+ mile road trip, attitude adjustments (before, during, and after), their own anxiety struggles, and plenty of too-big feelings they are ill-equipped to handle.

I found joy and peace in doing the one thing in front of me and putting one foot in front of the other each day, despite my longing to just stop time and stop being in charge of everything for a bit.

You see, I am strong. And I knew that. But I had no idea the kinds of tough emotions and stressful challenges I would face in 2016. I simply had no choice but to love my husband and my children and get through it somehow. I suppose I did have a choice, but no other option was okay with me. I might not have always done it with as much grace or love as I was capable of, but when I woke up on New Year's Day, I realized...

This year is the year my husband comes home.

This year is the year I cultivate my newfound strength into personal growth.

This year is the year that no matter how daunting the day, I know I can face whatever life hands me.

Because that's what we do, and there is no other acceptable path. Whether you deal with deployment, divorce, death, discord, disease, or something else, when life hands you adversity (and only then) God will reveal the hidden depth of the strength He planted deep in our souls.

5 days down, 360 to go! To God be the glory!

Hello again!

Merry Christmas! By now, if you have read my blog for more than a few months, you know that periodically, I stop posting. Eventually, I come back, and I am finally okay with that lack of consistency after years of feeling guilty for not being here during those gaps. Life happens, and this tiny ministry is less a priority than many other things.

These are a few titles of posts I could have written over the past six months or so:

1. One Federal Employee Changes Payroll Policy and I Cry
2. Having an Attorney for a Husband Comes in Handy
3. How to Begin Looking for a House in a Giant Geographic Area
4. When Life is so Insane You Don't Touch Your Bullet Journal until Thursday, 2 Weeks in a Row
5. Why People Who Upgrade Older Homes Should Actually Do It Right
6. Buying a House Without Your Husband (or 12 Steps through the Worst Anxiety of My Life)
7. The Epitome of Unconditional Support (or Who My Parents Are)
8. The Perils of Binge Watching Amazon Prime for Stress Relief
9. Hitting My Head Against a Wall When God Was in Control All Along
10. Surviving the Holidays by Lowering Expectations

But somehow those do not all seem to go with the focus of my audience here! So, I am planning to polish and publish a few drafts from the summer and then to continue, from time to time, to post about the joys and challenges of being a devoted wife and Catholic homeschooling mother.

Studies for Moms'; Groups

Starting a Moms' Group? If you're not already a part of one, you really should start your own! Just to recap: Here is why you should start one. Here is how to start one. Here are the easiest topic ideas. Here are some inspiring books to read and discuss.

But sometimes mothers really need some meat, more content to take home and chew on. In one city, I found that after leading a group of ladies for a couple of years, we had covered all the basic topics. While repeating them would have been fantastic, we elected to dive into a deeper study. Group studies are a good way to get a new group going strong or to refresh a tired group. Here are the studies I have led or participated in with fellow moms over the years:

• Momnipotent: The Not-So-Perfect Woman's Guide to Catholic Motherhood by Danielle Bean --- The book is fantastic, and the DVD really adds a lot of practical experience from a diverse group of moms. We found the DVDs were a bit long for our two-hour sessions, so I often played only a segment of the video to give us more time to discuss the ideas. Our group chose not to use the journal, but I referred to it for conversation starters. All of the materials are well created, but we found it worked well for our group to pick and choose elements.

• Catholic Conference 4 Moms --- This was a fantastic resource for our group last spring, and it's being offered for free one weekend this month! I signed up to host the Faces of Mercy Conference to purchase the rights to download the presentations. Then we watched one or two presentations each meeting. These are top notch speakers with excellent fodder for discussion! I highly recommend liking their Facebook page to learn about future conferences.

• Endow Catholic Women Studies --- Their study on John Paul II's Letter to Women is quite inspiring. If you need a very structured, carefully planned study group that focuses on Church documents, this is for you. They even have a feature on their website where you can find an existing group in your diocese.

• Ignatius Catholic Bible Study Series by Scott Hahn & Curtis Mitch --- One group of women wanted to delve into Scripture more, so we picked one of the paperback single-biblical-book volumes from this series. I think we took a semester to study the Letters of St. Paul to the Corinthians with the outstanding footnotes of these Catholic scholars.

• Women of Grace Study Program: Full of Grace: Women and the Abundant Life by Johnnette Benkovic --- This was, by far, my favorite women's study I have ever led. The material provided is excellent, uplifting, and challenging. Yet, it was presented in such a way that the amount of advance preparation required to participate in each meeting was not overwhelming (similarly to Momnipotent). 

• Blessed is She lectio divina Bible studies --- This group of writers is amazing! Their main ministry is to publish daily Biblical reflections for fellow Catholic women, so sign up there for daily inspiration. But the authors there also have a few short Bible studies, such as Waiting in the Word: Our Vows on marriage and recently released A Couple's Journey on fertility and family planning. These are short studies but are perfect for a small group to discuss with a focus on Scripture and Catholic teaching in a relatable way.

• Courageous Series Bible Studies for Women by Stacy Mitch --- I believe there are four in this series, now: Love, Women, Virtue, and Generosity. These books do not require a separate study guide, as the questions with space to fill in your answers are already in the books. Again, these are a great way to study Scripture as a group, so you can discuss the passages, the study questions, and personal experiences.

This academic year, my goal includes working through these studies on my own as much as possible to evaluate them for future use.

• The Lifegiving Home and The Lifegiving Home Experience by Sally Clarkson
• Well-Read Mom Book Club

And then, of course, there are other great studies at these trusted sites:

• Catholic Scripture Studies Program 
• Ave Maria Press Small Group Resources 
• Word on Fire Study Programs 
• Formed.org Faith Formation Resources

If you have suggestions on others I should consider, please drop them in the combox below!