Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Begin Again...

It's November already. I miss blogging. I am in a quandary, though. While I want this space to focus on a mother's personal spirituality, there are just some things too personal to share in a public space (in my opinion). These past few months I have not been in a place to offer encouragement to anyone. Months ago, I wrote about the importance of being real, but sometimes real life is just ugly. Who wants to read that? We all have enough of our own ugly.

So, now I sit here, wondering what to write, what to share, where to start and desperately wanting to reconnect with this ministry. I cannot begin to explain the past few months and what God has asked of me. I cannot express the attitudes and thoughts that have torn apart my mother's heart. I cannot communicate the loneliness and distance I have felt from everything and everyone. All I can say is that I have been blessed by the gift of faith, for it was certainly a gift and nothing of my own power.

My faith is in a God whose timing is impossible to predict or understand but is absolutely perfect in His way. When has He confounded you? I have begun to see that one minute of joy and laughter can change a bleak day into sunshine and a crusty heart into smiles of love. What moments of joy did you find today? I know that each day will be more challenging and more glorious than the last, because He knows what is best for me, despite myself. These are mostly lessons in humility, I suppose. How does He teach you humility?

Today, I will begin again, from where I am. I will enjoy writing about the things I love. I love my family. I love my vocation. I love my God. And, I hope this space will lead you to His love more deeply. For He wants to know how much we love Him, but He wants us to know how much He loves us more!